The Texas Connection: Vol. 8

March 10, 2021 Hanna Carroll

Welcome to the NEW Texas Connection

What to expect every week: Funny news and Texas stories that will bring a smile to your face. Fall in love with a column and become a part of the Texas Humor Family with the Texas Connection.

Howdy! I'm here to spread a little bit of Texas-Positivity with some good news we all need to hear. Come back every week for some updated tidbits of what's going on in your great state (& beyond.)

This 100 year old Texan got surprised with a trip to her favorite store. Bet you can guess which one that is.
Remember Tiger King? Well... he's still tryin' to get out of jail. I just wanted to send ya a friendly reminder that we began binging Tiger King on Netflix ~365 days ago.
These parents were reunited with their Quadruplets after the Texas Ice Storm tore them apart.
And this is why all the Californian's are coming to Texas.
We all know Taco Bell got rid of their Mexican Pizza, but this replacement might just be even better
Remember those sea turtles the TP&W saved? Well here they are getting released back into the ocean.
Be careful what you put in your next yard sale. That antique bowl might be worth $300,000.
Who knew puppies licking peanut butter could be THIS cute?
This Hairless Cat is changing lives one session at a time.
Texas Humor FINALLY released NEW ARRIVALS AND you get a Free Sticker Pack with +$30 purchase.

See ya next week!

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There’s many reasons to love the state of Texas: amazing food, great people, that intense feeling of Texas pride we all feel… but my all time favorite thing is just how vastly different it is across all the regions. From the Gulf Coast beaches and Plains, to the Hill Country and Piney Woods and everything in between, Texas has A LOT to offer. I LOVE to travel and I LOVE that I can get my fill of adventure right here in my home state! Need ideas for hidden gems across Texas? You’ve come to the right place. I’m here to share my favorite places, which I’ve been to or adding to my own bucket list, that I just can’t believe are right here in Texas!

Now, I can’t start you off with anything other than Big Bend. It’s my favorite place in all of Texas, if not the world. It’s got the big starry nights, the Chisos mountains, plains and much more! You’re sure to find whatever suits your fancy out in this corner of the state. It’s one of those places that’s got so much to see, it’s worth going back time and time again. It’s definitely one of the most underrated National Parks, and worth the 8 hour drive on I-10 that it may take to get there. My top 3 favorite hikes (from the couple of times I’ve made the trek out west)…

Grapevine Hills Trail: A short, but slightly rugged hike, to see Balanced Rock. If you're lucky you’ll even catch a glimpse of some wildlife.
Santa Elena: Make your way all the way down to the Rio Grande for an epic view of the canyon that marks the border between Texas, USA and Mexico. It’s a super short hike, with an amazing view, and if you’re up for more you can even bring your kayak and go for a cruise around the bend.
Window Trail: Hike in the Chisos down to one of my favorite views, and if you time it right, you can catch the most amazing view of that Texas sunset. Just remember, if you do the sunset hike, you may be walking back to your car in the dark.

Unless you live in nearby Alpine, this may not be a day trip for you, but don’t sweat it. There’s quite a few options to turn this into the best weekend getaway. Reserve a spot to camp in designated campsites, stay in a nearby lodge in or out of the park… or if you’re up for an extra cool time, book at a stay in the nearby ghost town, Terlingua. I’m even adding a stay in this bubble to my bucket list.

Adding this to the list? Enjoy! And remember practice Leave no Trace principles, and help keep Texas looking beautiful!

Happy trails, y’all!

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Howdy Y’all!

Normally I would write about a local small business or restaurant, but today, for my first ever entry, I want to talk about something very important to me. You’re probably going to read what it is and immediately scroll past this, and that’s OKAY. It just means you’re not ready to accept it in ALL its glory. The restaurant itself is not at all interesting, but this dish? This appetizer? Brings me to tears Every. Single. Time. We are talking about Chili’s Southwestern Eggrolls y’all! These bundles of deliciousness are savory, crispy, and hot! If you don’t burn your mouth eating these (even though the kind waitress told you they were pippin’ hot), you’re doing it wrong. I know Chili’s isn’t all that, but their Southwestern Eggrolls are where it’s at. It’s the moment when you dip the hot eggroll in the cool avocado ranch that should reel you in, but the second the flavors burst on your pallet? You should be instantly obsessed. It’s the chicken, the black beans, the corn, the jalapeno jack, it’s everything. I highly recommend that you go order yourself some Southwestern Eggrolls right now if you are doubtful. Of course all our pallets are different, and I would never insult another’s tastes, but if these don’t inspire something in you there might be a problem.

Anyways, I promise next week I’ll dive into a local small business for y’all, but I just wanted to get that out of the way so y’all know where I stand. Until next week, I hope you eat something delicious.

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Y'all - sometime around 2014 I met my TRUE love: craft beer (don't tell my wife). We've spent lots of time together and as such, I've been able to taste an insane amount of different beers. It's become somewhat of a "gotta catch 'em all" type of situation.

You're probably reading this and asking "why should I listen to this guy's opinions on beer?" Well, you shouldn't. But you can read them

.

Texas has a TON of craft breweries. In 2005 there were around 20 in the state according to Forbes with 300+ as of 2020.
Sadly after lengthy taproom & bar shutdowns (and breweries having to completely change business models) in 2020, the Texas Craft Brewers Guild (a MAJOR player in getting you beer to go back in 2019) reported that 1 in 3 Texas breweries may not make it thru the end of the year. Being an industry that is always willing to step up and help others, dozens of breweries across the state will be teaming up with TCBG for a statewide "Liquid Bake Sale" this Spring (complete with super dope design). The statewide collaboration will feature beers of various styles using Texas-grown malt. Keep an eye on your favorite brewery and be sure to snag whatever beer they release for this collaboration. Maybe even send me a six-pack or so. It's a win-win. You support your favorite brewery and I get more beer.

Three Texas beers I enjoyed this week:

1. Lone Pint's Laser Kraken Rum Barrel-Aged Imperial Stout: This thing was a monster. Slightly reminiscent of some Prairie barrel-aged stouts (the only good to come out of Oklahoma tbh). Spicy (cinnamon and nutmeg), boozy, and rich without being overly sweet. This would've been a really good beer to stay warm with during the snowpocalypse a few weeks ago.

2. Baa Baa Brewhouses Snog: Like every other Baa Baa beer I've had, it's liquid gold. Or a glass of straight fire, or whatever the kids are saying these days.

3. Real Ales Crispy Business. It's all in the name with this one. A true crispy boy. Light, but still full of flavor and just a tad sweet. It's a beer that tastes like beer.

Until next time, Cheers!

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You ever want to read something that makes you go... “Huh...alright”? Well boy howdy, if this right here isn’t the perfect column for you! My name is Amber, and the reason for this is to give you all the Texan things that you don’t want to know, and didn’t ask for!

Top 5 Times Willie Nelson Was Seen Enjoying a Hot Pocket:

1. Number 1 starting out strong with old Wilard showing off one of his favorites, a Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pocket!

2. Oh oh! Coming in hot a heavy with number two! Looks like Willie didn't wait the recommended 2 minute cooling time! But let's be honest, who's that patient!

3. Throwback Thursday with number three! Willie is seen with fellow Hot Pocket aficionado Woody Harrelson (left) and Willie Nelson (right) at the official Hot Pocket convention circa 1996!

4. Here we see Willie taking a quick pocket break while recording in the studio!

5. Last but certainly not least, we got Willie double fisting some hot pockets in the late 80s!

What will it be every week...

A listicle of my top 20 worst Texan Road-Side Attractions? Or will it be a twelve page thesis on how the Horned Lizard is the most majestic reptile? Who’s to say! All I can tell you is that it’ll be entirely unnecessary! So ya know… until then!