The Texas Connection Vol. 23

 

 

 

It's 4th of July... week?

Regardless of what you call it, we're gearing up for the raddest weekend celebrating the independence of our great country.

As always, welcome back to the Texas Connection. Grab your coffee and read this week's interesting finds from your Pals at Texas Humor. 

Want to share the newsletter with your friends? Send them this link.

 

 

Howdy, friends! Here's your news updates for this week:

In Your Neck of the Woods: 

Weird Finds:

The Furry Friend Weeklies: 

Until next week... stay newsy my friends.

 

 

 

4th of July is just around the corner, and of course I decided that this was the perfect time to move to a new place! So while I finish packing, I’ve gathered up some lists of the best spots to catch some Texas-sized fireworks and other Independence Day activities this weekend!Just click on a city near you to find the perfect spot for you and your family to celebrate. And of course, there’s always the option to hang at home with some good BBQ and catch the ones that will most likely be going on in your own neighborhood.

Hope y’all have an Tex-cellent weekend, and get invited to a BBQ that is serving a heck of a lot more than just hot dogs!

 

 

Howdy Y’all!

 

This weekend is Independence Day, so Happy 4th of July and I hope y’all have a wonderful holiday! I know back home my uncles will be grilling up a storm, but because I can’t celebrate with them this year, I’ll be ordering some BBQ to take to Zilker Park! This week, instead of recommending 1 restaurant, I’ll be giving y’all a list of places to check out if you too aren’t grilling this 4th of July. These are some of my personal favorites and some places that I’ve never been to, but I really want to try. I highly recommend that you call ahead and double check with these locations to make sure they’ll be open and doing call aheads. 

 

Austin:

 

DFW:

Houston: 

San Antonio:

 

Now, I know I didn’t hit all the places, but these are just a few that I’m aware of. Don’t be afraid to try a new BBQ joint near you! I hope this list helps y’all have a wonderful 4th of July, and until next week,

 

I hope you eat something delicious!

 

 

The San Antonio Shark Heist 

 

During a nice Saturday in July of 2018, the San Antonio Aquarium was having a normal busy weekend catering to their hundreds of species of fish, and their hundreds of visitors. Everyone was having a great time looking at the exhibits, holding their kids up to the interactive tank so that little Larry could reach down and pet a shark. All in all, a nice, mundane day. That is… until someone poured bleach into the aquarium's filtration system.

The employees at the aquarium jump into action immediately, knowing that time is of the essence in order to save their aquatic animals. During the quick evacuation of the tanks one employee noticed that Ms.Helen, the aquarium's only Horned Shark, was missing. Knowing that the likelihood of her running away was pretty low, they quickly turned their attention to finding the shark stealer.

The staff separates into teams, one searching the surveillance photoage, the other searching the parking lot. One employee, Jenny Spellman, notices a trail of water droplets leading her to a group of three adults, one child, and a soaking wet baby stroller. Spellman approaches the posse while they’re getting into their truck. Basically caught “wet” handed, she asks the driver if she could search his vehicle, he replies with a swift no, and some lame excuse about his kid needing to go to the ER immediately. Understandably, the outnumbered and overpowered employee steps aside to let the group leave, but not without getting their licence plate number. 

When police arrive the employees show them the footage of a GROWN MAN grabbing poor Ms.Helen out of her tank, put her in the stroller they brought, and then calmly walk away during the chaos of the bleach incident. They quickly discover who the man is based on vehicle registration, because...duh.

 

The man responsible for the soggiest heist of all time,had one more surprise up his sleeve for the police when they opened his garage door.

Multiple 1,000 gallon tanks, full of different rare marine life and coral take up basically every square foot of this garage. Luckily marine expert and employee at the San Antonio Aquarium, Jamie Shank, was able to positively identify Ms. Helen, and she was safely returned to the aquarium . 

The thief claimed after his arrest that he’s an animal activist, and was only trying to save marine life from the “horrible” conditions at the San Antonio Aquarium. However I call bull on this excuse because, one, the San Antonio aquarium is super nice, and two, HE WAS THE ONE WHO DUMPED BLEACH INTO THE TANK FOR A DISTRACTION!!!! He was later charged with felony theft. 

This just goes to show, Don’t mess with Texas….’s sharks. 

We've Saved the Best for Last:

 

Catch Us Next Week...
Catch ya' in next week's recap. Until then, have a great rest of your week and an even better weekend.
Sincerely, Your Texas Humor Team: Hanna, Sidney, Cass, John & Amber

 


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